Nature, Nurture and Noses

In the wee hours of the night I have many perpetual thoughts. One of these thoughts are of my mother and father and how they really had their hands full with me growing up. Now that I have two children (both of which predominantly have my traits and my nose) I never miss an opportunity to thank my parents for their patience and ability to be so amazing even though I was a complete pain to have as a child. Let's face it, when you adopt a child it's a total risk. What will she be like? Is it nature or nurture? Will she grow to look like us? What traits will she have? What are we getting into?

My parents wanted a baby. They wanted a girl. 3 days old and fresh out of the Wheeling Ohio Valley General Hospital my folks lovingly opened their arms and took me to my forever home. Much like a stray getting sprung from the humane society, I had been chosen. Little did I know that I had hit the jackpot.

Being adopted was never a secret, I remember vividly in my eighth year of life the day my mother held me on her lap in the rocking chair and explained to me that I was adopted and just what exactly that meant. I had all the normal reactions. Anger, Sorrow, Wonder, Loneliness, Confusion. As I grew older I realized that I was very blessed to have been matched with such a loving mother and marvelous father. I am who I am today because of them.

I've never given my adoption status a fleeting thought until pondering one morning when I was pregnant with our first born. I had received an ad in the mail for Viacord. Reading through the colorful pamphlets about stem cells, blood banking, cord blood and genetic screening it hit me. Elena would become my only biological link. I would no longer be alone!
There would be two of us in the world together. My blood was her blood and hers, mine. Imagine my delight 5 years later that the doctors' conclusions were wrong, and Carmen June was on the way.

Just in the past year my parents have told me that they have a file about my biological mother and father. She, a very young high school girl who loved music and played the piano. He, a football player. They asked me if I wanted to see it.

I have decided it's best not for now. Body scans, mammograms, health screening and blood tests keep me on the lookout for any genetic surprises. Do I need to see it for health reasons? Not yet. Do I need to see it to curb my curiosity? That still scares me. Do I need to see it to have a biological link? Not any more.

The midnight hours are no longer saturated with thoughts of 'where did I come from?', 'where are they now?', 'what do they look like?'.

I walk tippy-toed into my girls' rooms and look at their angelic sleeping faces and then I know where I come from and where the three of us belong. Right where God put us.